


Confessions

by Kedreeva



Series: The Unspoken [4]
Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Minor Canon Character Death (Hailie), Multi, Threegulls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 17:25:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5464838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kedreeva/pseuds/Kedreeva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan asks Duke what happened with Hailie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions

            It is well past midnight when Dwight herds Nathan into their old office and orders him to get at least an hour of sleep. There is a lot to do still – cameras to be fixed, people to be spoken with, plans to be laid – but Dwight is beyond the reach of any argument Nathan may be able to muster.  Audrey is already curled up on the couch under Dwight’s jacket, the controller crystal and aether core still grasped in her hands; there is no longer enough coffee to keep her going forever.

            “I just watched you fall asleep on your feet not five minutes ago, Nathan,” Dwight tells him, and closes the door.

            Nathan has only just pulled the arcane objects from Audrey’s grasp and laid them aside when the door opens again. A yellow beam of light cuts across the room, blocked by Duke’s silhouette a second later. They share a look, and Nathan knows without asking that Dwight has grounded Duke as well. He takes a seat on the far end of the couch from Audrey as Duke slips into the room, door clicking shut behind him.

            Crossing the room, Duke takes a seat in the chair that has belonged to too many police chiefs in the past few years. Some part of Nathan finds it amusing to see Duke - the oft-times pirate and smuggler of illegal goods - sitting there now. He can’t muster a smile to go with the feeling.

            “How long do you think we’ll have to stay in here before he’ll think we slept?” Duke asks, kicking his boots up onto the desk gently enough the noise will not wake Audrey. Nathan’s not sure a tornado in the room could wake her at this point.

            “Couple hours,” he answers, crossing his arms and laying his head against the back of the couch. He considers actually falling asleep, except that he knows Dwight won’t wake him if he does.

            “You should sleep,” Duke ventures hesitantly, leaning forward and picking up the aether core. He rolls it between his hands like a toy and Nathan doesn’t have the energy to tell him to stop. “I can wake you in a little bit.”

            “I don’t think I can sleep,” Nathan admits, closing his eyes.

            He does not want to say it aloud, but the Void damaged something in him. Maybe not permanently – he  _hopes_ not permanently – but enough that nothing has changed since he returned. He is not sure he remembers what _ache_ feels like anymore, but this must be close. Everything inside his head feels  _tight_ , like something has a vice on this thoughts, like his concentration must first squeeze through a sieve.

            “Yeah, me neither.” Duke sighs and sets the aether core back where he found it before relaxing into the chair. He huffs a soft laugh. “Kinda feels like one of those  _we can sleep when we’re dead moments_.”

            Nathan looks over, but Duke has his eyes closed, head tipped back. “We’re not gonna die,” Nathan tells him, sees the minute flinch. He sits up and Duke’s eyes open again. “You said in your vision, everyone died because I didn’t come back from the Void. But you brought me back.”

            “Yeah,” Duke says, like it hurts, like he wishes he  _hadn’t_. Nathan isn’t sure what to do with that, thinks maybe he’s misread something between them when Duke blows out a heavy breath. “I’m  _tired_ , Nate. I’m sick of innocent people getting hurt. I’m sick of- of keeping a tally in my head of the people I’ve killed.”

            Nathan’s throat closes on any response he might have given. There’s nothing words can do to stop that kind of pain, nothing to be said that makes what they’ve had to do better. He has a tally, too, goes over it every night before he sleeps, wakes up to it etched into his thoughts.

            “I had to-” Duke begins, clamps his jaw shut on the words and shakes his head. “She was a  _kid_ , Nathan.” Though his voice trembles around the words, he doesn’t stop. “She was scared and confused and needed help, and instead I brought her here to be  _used_.”

            “What happened?” Nathan asks, low and soft. He knows Hailie died, has guessed that Duke killed her. Audrey didn’t want to talk about, it. Duke seems to need to, and Nathan thinks he wants to know. He wants to believe that he is right to believe Duke didn’t have a choice.

            “I killed her,” Duke says. He sounds  _exhausted_ in a way he didn’t a moment ago. “She was worn out from holding the thinny open, and tried to phase through a fence. Didn’t make it, wouldn’t have… she was dying. If she- you would have been stuck in the Void, and I-” He pauses, rubs at his face with a poorly concealed sniffle. “I promised you I wouldn’t let that happen.”

            “You did the right thing,” Nathan says, without hesitation, without wavering, because Duke  _needs to hear it_.

            “I did the  _necessary_ thing,” Duke replies tightly. “The  _right_  thing isn’t even on our map anymore. I just… couldn’t lose you.”

            “You didn’t,” Nathan says, means it in all the ways he hasn’t in years. “You’re not going to, either. Audrey’s right. We’re going to figure this out, together.”

            The sound Duke makes embodies non-committal. “And then?” he asks. “When it’s all over one way or another, even if we all survive, what then? We can’t- it just-” He lets out a frustrated breath and tips his head back, eyes closing. “We’re not built for happily-ever-after.”

            “Happily ever after is overrated,” Nathan tells him. “I was thinking maybe Jamaica.”

            That, at least, pulls a laugh out of Duke and Nathan finally has something to smile about. “Jamaica,” he puffs, voice scratchy, his amusement thready with emotion. “Yeah, we- I can take you two there.”

            “The _three of us_  can go,” Nathan corrects, gently, doesn’t look away when Duke lifts his head to see. He raises both eyebrows to reiterate the suggestion, sees Duke swallow in trepidation at the implication.

            “I like Jamaica,” Audrey mumbles, without even opening her eyes. “Can we get froofy drinks with little umbrellas? And happy martinis?”

            Nathan’s smile grows fractionally at the suggestion, and Duke’s laugh doesn’t sound quite as broken this time. “Yeah,” Duke tells her, still smiling softly. “We’ll get you any kind of happy drink you want.”

            Still without opening her eyes, she reaches one hand out to Duke and makes a grabby motion. Nathan isn’t sure what she is asking for, but Duke seems to understand. He removes his feet from the desk and carefully picks up and places the controller and the core in her hand. She takes a fortifying breath and sits up, finally opening her eyes, and sets the instruments in her lap.

            “Okay then,” she says with determination. “I’m gonna hold you to that. Both of you. So let’s figure this out.”

            Nathan looks up, catches Duke’s gaze over Audrey’s head, but Duke just shrugs like he’s willing to go along with this, wherever it may lead. Together. There may be a lot of  _necessary_ things left for them, and Nathan knows none of it will be  _easy_ , but maybe, he thinks,  _happily ever after_  isn’t as far out of their reach as Duke had suggested.

 


End file.
